Having interacted with parents over their parenting strategies in an academic set up for my research projects, I’ve noticed that there is a significant shift in parenting today. Modern parents are pro-positive parenting techniques and avoid outright disapproval of kids’ emotions and constant nagging.
With access to wonderful parenting blogs and countless parenting books, parents are only getting better at the game. Having said that, let’s look at the top parenting strategies moms and dads absorbed this year!
1. Become the Role Model
Psychologists are always emphasising on the fact that children are more influenced by what they see than what they hear. If you make certain rules at home that you expect your child to adhere to but you yourself do not follow them, you will end up sending confusing signals to kids. They will learn that they can break rules set by you.
As established, children can be very observant and sometimes smarter than we think they are. Thus, try to have a positive outlook to things in general and especially crucial decision-making moments in the family. Also, make sure you treat your spouse, your parents, your maid, your gardener, and even your pet well so that you structure a positive and kind personality for your child.
2. Manage your responses
Everything seems calm until the moment your child says, “I don’t care!” or “I don’t want to do my homework!” or anything on those lines. In the heat of the moment, we tend to say mean things or give them a harsh punishment. The best way to handle your child’s tantrums is not to give them a thrashing or shame them.
You will have to realise the fact that your child is also an individual who will grow up to make life decisions. And instead of fixating on his or her misbehaviour, understand that your child is only a little human being who is not fully equipped to behave the right way in every situation.
No matter how hard, control harsh instinctual reactions and talk to your child calmly. If you think your child is arguing too much and things could go out of hand, walk away. Your child will no longer be able to argue and bargain since you have ended the conversation. After a cool off period of a couple of hours, you can talk to him about it in a calmer state of mind.
3. Spend quality time
Spending quality time with your children is an important part of their upbringing. Expressing positive thoughts and feelings will also achieve the same result that positive role modelling will. Also, it will help grow a bond, without the existence of which, your child might feel scared or threatened.
Once you decide to make it a point to spend time with your kids carrying out interesting tasks or playing games, especially those that the kids will enjoy, make sure you are consistent. Preferably, stick to a proper schedule.
4. Boost your child’s self-confidence
Your parenting strategy should most certainly include techniques to boost your little one’s self-confidence, something every child should have a hold over. Praising little efforts your child puts in, allowing him or her to figure a way out of a problem on their own, and normalising setbacks will go a long way in building their self-confidence.
These little gestures will help him grow into the person you hope to see him as. However, don’t let this get to your head and push them to be “perfect”. Let your child build his or her own personality without having to worry about being judged by you or compared with other kids.
5. Do not neglect your child’s questions
Children are curious creatures. Once they learn how to speak and start understanding how things work, they would want to know everything about everything! There is simply no end to their curiosity. Sometimes you can get fatigued by just answering these little guys. But don’t ever reprimand them for asking these questions or neglect the questions they ask. No matter how tough the question may be, try your best to answer them.
6. Build your child’s emotional intelligence
Parents, today, are focussing on building their children’s emotional intelligence. The best way to do this by letting them express what they feel while you patiently lead them to handle it in a more emotionally intelligent manner. Acknowledge their perspective, empathise and teach them how to solve a problem gradually. They may not be completely accepting of what you tell them until you play it out. So, when you see a negative behavioural pattern in your child, find a way to steer them towards a more positive behavioural pattern.
Make sure you only tackle one behaviour at a time no matter how pressurised you feel to push your child to make a complete change in behaviour.
7. Choose Discipline over punishments
Contrary to traditional parenting practices, parents, these days choose to discipline over inflicting punishment for misbehaviour. Blaming, shaming, or spanking kids for misbehaviour will only solve an immediate problem. It will not prove fruitful on a long-term basis. Instead, if you adopt a technique where you instruct them, you will help them grow into competent individuals in the future.
Moving to 2020!
2019 has been a promising year in terms of the shift of parenting strategies to a more positive outlook. I’m confident that parents will drive positive parenting in the new year too and new parents will adopt similar strategies.
What was your core parenting strategy for the year? What worked for you and what didn’t? Do share them in the comments!
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