Show me a parent who doesn’t proudly boast about how fast their son started walking or how quick their daughter started talking. As parents, we consider these ‘milestones’ as a foreshadowing of how smart our children will turn out to be. We focus so much on ensuring our children turn out to be successful individuals that we forget on ensuring they are good human beings too.
There is a reason our society is currently rampant with successful people who are far from being humane. One of the qualities that make us human is empathy. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their feelings and emotions. Being empathetic can help you build valuable relationships in life and be a good human being. In a world where everyone could use a little more love and support, empathy is crucial.
We are all born with some inherent characteristics but certain qualities such as empathy, kindness, honesty, etc are taught. But how do you teach empathy to children who are naturally inclined to be worried solely about their own needs? Just like you teach them everything else, by setting an example and being persistent. As a mother, it’s crucial to me that my daughter grows up to be a good human being. I want her to be a kind and compassionate person, that to me is a true success. Deep down, I think that is what most parents want. Here are some of my ideas as to how we can instil empathy in our children.
Set an example
Whether it’s the way we dress or the things we say, children take a lot of inspiration from their parents. They watch us keenly and mirror our actions and words. When you kids notice you being empathetic towards others, they will follow your lead without even knowing it. Being empathetic towards your children is also crucial as it helps them experience what empathy feels like and practise the same.
When your child makes a mistake, talk to them and understand what led them to their actions before punishing or reprimanding them. Volunteer at shelters, be kind with the people who work for you and be there for people going through a tough time. It’s easy to teach empathy when you practise it yourself.
The ‘How would you feel?’ method
It would be amazing if our children just did what we asked them to without question. But to question things and think for themselves is a part of what makes them their own person. Like I already said, empathy doesn’t come naturally to children. Expecting them to put themselves in the other person’s shoes every time they are faced with a situation might be asking too much of them at a young age. But that doesn’t mean you let it go. It also doesn’t mean that you punish them for not being empathetic.
It is easier for children to do something when they understand why they are doing it. So the next time they fail to be empathetic towards someone, use the ‘How would you feel?’ method. Talk to them and ask them how they would feel if they were that person. This makes them aware of the fact that their behaviour or lack of empathy can hurt other people and make them more sensible with the things they say and do in the future.
Appreciate
It’s a very well known fact that children thrive on appreciation. Nothing encourages a child to do something like being appreciated for it. So, the next time your child is empathetic or kind towards someone, acknowledge it. A simple appreciation such as “You are such a good girl for helping your friend.” or “It was so nice of you to not get angry at your brother.” will go a long way and make your children feel like they are doing the right thing.
Empathy isn’t something any of us are born with, but it’s important to practise empathy and make it a core part of who we are. This will turn us into the kind of people who can lift others up and the current society can definitely use more of that.
