When we announced to our friends and family that my wife is pregnant, we were forced to listen to truckloads of advice – ranging from how I will fall in love with my child the minute I hold him or her to how we shouldn’t pamper kids too much or they will be spoiled rotten. Fastrack to when my first child was born, I was the first one who held him, after my wife. He was a tiny little creature barely able to open his eyes. That minute, all I could feel was amazement about the miracle of birth. I did not, however, feel any parental affection or bond. As horrible as that sounds, believe me, it left me more confused than ever before.
Mothers carry the baby for nine months and feed them so mothers always have a special bond with the baby. It is not entirely true in the case of fathers – which is why I’m sure I’m not the only dad who did not feel this connection right after the birth of my child.
With time, however, I learnt how to build a bond with my son. I repeated the same with my daughter too. Walk into my house today and ask my kids “Who do you like better – mom or dad?” And I’m sure they’ll say “Dad”, or I hope they do!
So, here are a few simple tips that I followed to create a bond with my kids. Hope this helps!
Cradle your baby close
Going back to motherly instincts, holding your baby skin-to-skin is the shortcut to building a great bond with your little one. I wasn’t much of a baby carry-er until my children came along. I didn’t mind holding them and had no fear of dropping them.
I made sure that I put aside a few minutes a day just to hold the baby. In fact, the doctor told us about the importance of skin-to-skin contact. So, this meant I could show off my dad bod every evening.
Talk to the baby
Talk to your baby even though you know he or she does not quite understand what you’re saying. And when you do, make sure you look into his or her eyes. Eye contact and constant chatter help them recognise you. I’ve also heard that speaking to kids from a young age helps them learn languages faster.
Babies have brains like sponges and this is the time you can grab the opportunity to speak to them in different languages and maybe even getting them to like your favourite football club! Once I recognised this tip, I made sure I spoke to my daughter when my wife was still carrying her.
Take the baby for a walk
Babies love fresh air and the sun. A quick stroll in the park will be a good break for you and the baby. While strollers are great for the baby, a sling or a carrier will let you stay close to your baby. This way, you get to stay active, your baby feels happy, and the two of you get along well.
Read to them at bedtime
My 2-year-old daughter, Tanvi still cannot read or understand certain words but I have been reading to her at bedtime with her brother (who is now 6 years old) almost every night. This not only helps with cognitive development but it’s a special something that I get to do with my kids every day. This, I hope, will go on to build a long-term bond with Anoop and Tanvi.
Play with your child, talk to him or her, communicate with her in every way possible and you will feel better connected with your child. Speaking from experience. Feel free to share any insights you have on bonding with your little one.
